Guiding Light
by redgrass-and-silvertrees
Summary: Hohenheim never expected to fall in love, he especially never to fall for the fiery Trisha Elric. But it seemed she was the light that would lead him home. One-shot


**I sort of draw okay-ish but not like Arakawa-sensei so no, it's not mine.**

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><p>Standing in front of Trisha Elric's grave, Hohenheim didn't quite know what to feel. When he had discovered the death of his wife through his old friend Pinako, he almost didn't believe it but the stone in front of him was irrefutable proof that his love was gone. He'd lived a long time, longer than he cared to remember and he was used to death by now. He'd watched as friends and comrades aged to death while he remained ever unchanged, he used to weep for them but as the death toll increased it became too wearying. Even now, the loss of his beloved couldn't bring about anything in him other than emptiness. He sucked in a breath and gripped his shirt as it felt like the little fire of love he'd carried with him since their meeting had burned out. Because that's what she was to him, his light, his guide to happiness through a thick fog of aimless despair. He looked up at the sky, and imagined a time when things had been a little better and little brighter.<p>

XxX

_Hohenheim was passing through Resembool again. It had been a while since he'd seen Pinako and he found himself missing her crass but kindly understanding despite his travels. He told himself that it was bad for him, coming back to her for so many years watching her vitality fade. It would only end in heartbreak to watch her wither and die, but even knowing this, he made the same trek every few years or so. _

"_Pinako, I'm back." He said casually as he walked into her house without knocking. Her husband had been gone for many years and her son was grown by this time so he had no fear of disturbing anyone. "I was in the neighborhood, thought I'd say-" he wandered into the living room and lost his breath at the sight of an angel. He heard Pinako talking but all he could do was stare at her lovely guest. She had soft chestnut was held up with a ribbon while the rest framed her soft face and her eyes were a rich sea foam green that seem as deep as the ocean itself. Everything about her was so beautiful that Hohenheim found himself losing his balance. _

"_For goodness' sake Hohenheim! You barge in here after nearly two years away and then you fall to the floor, and in front of a guest too. Hmmph, I should throw you out right now but I pity you too much. I'm sorry about this Trisha, he's an old friend of mine, I'll take him into the kitchen." His old friend berated him but he was still transfixed by the beautiful young woman on the couch with a small, restrained smile on her face. Through Pinako's nagging, he could hear her lightly giggling while her eyes were alight and he decided that he wanted to hear more of that wonderful tinkling sound. _

"_Now what was all that about you idiot? Are you drunk? I've known you a long time Hohenheim an I've never seen you get drunk no matter how many pints you had. Wait, you're not hurt are you?" _

"_Pinako," He asked breathlessly, still slightly dazed as he cut off her concerned ramblings. "Who was that beautiful woman?" For the first time since he'd known her, he saw his friend pause looking genuinely taken aback before she smiled wryly and shook her head._

"_Don't you even think about you old dog. Trisha Elric is far too good for a bum like you." _

_XxX_

_The next time Hohenheim saw Trisha Elric he was able to keep himself from falling over and embaressing himself again. But just barely. He agreed with Pinako that, what with his damaged, wandering soul and his monstrous body, that it was best if he stayed far, far away from the fair maiden. But that hadn't stopped him from thinking about her all the time, from imagining the smell of her hair and how her laugh would sound when she was curled in his arms. _

"_You're back in town I see," Trisha said brightly, a bit of mischief dancing in her blue-green eyes as she sauntered up to him. Hohenheim looked around nervously, there was no around that he could see, what was this young lady thinking approaching a strange man all on her own? Didn't she have parents or a husband? "Mrs. Pinako says that you're a traveler and you only pop around every few years. It's only been a few months, what brings you back so soon?" Hohenheim turned seven shades of red as Trisha came up next him, leisurely keeping pace with him while her silky voice teased out the obvious question. It was plain to see why he'd come back so soon._

"_Oh I didn't really have anywhere else to go and Pinako is getting older so I thought I might be able to help out. Her roof probably could use fixing and the faucet was leaking last time I was here and I think she's almost out of firewood and winter's only six months away and-"_

"_Are you married Mr. Hohenheim?" She made an adorable little tittering sound as he stumbled on his feet and flailed his arms out to keep himself upright. He stared at her with wide, unsure eyes at her probing questions, one of her delicate hands raised to her mouth to hide her pleased grin. He adjusted his glasses and reminded himself that he several centuries old and thus should not be flustered by a young woman's flirtations. _

"_Ah no, I've never married. I've um been through a lot, I've seen too many good friends die and it seems almost unfair of me to try and tie someone down that way when I don't know if I can fully commit." He watched as her playful gaze softened at his words and she reached over and laid a gentle hand on his arm. _

"_I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to tease," she began turning her eyes towards the grass. Good thing too as her touch was sending lightning bolts up and down his arm. "I'm an orphan; I was raised by the local church since I was very little. Mrs. Pinako is the closest I have to a mother so I can understand what you mean about not burdening people." With an audacity he didn't know he possessed, he reached over and took ahold of her hand cupping the top of hers with his other hand._

"_Miss. Trisha, I don't know you very well but I think I can say with absolute certainty that you would never be a burden to anyone. You're too kind and too lovely to be anything but a blessing to everyone who meets you." She gasped lightly, her cheeks coloring just as he felt his own face get warm. _

"_Mr. Hohenheim, I-"_

"_Trisha Elric you get back here right this instant! What on God's green earth are you doing alone with that scruffy faced vagrant!?" Trisha jumped, pulling her hand from his and running over to where Pinako was angrily standing. She turned around to give him a smile and a wave._

"_Sorry! I'll talk to you later! Don't you dare leave before I can say goodbye." He continued to wave back long after she'd gone as he continued to rack up reasons for him to stick around this peaceful little town. _

_XxX_

"_Please Mr. Hohenheim," Trisha said, batting her eyes in a sweet way as she leaned close to him. "I've never seen much alchemy before and Mrs. Pinako says that you're a great alchemist. People out here have barely heard of it, much less practice it." Hohenheim bit his lip and turned his eyes away from hers._

_They were sitting on the hill just outside Pinako's house under the watchful eye of Trisha's sort of guardian and he felt quite torn. Pinako had asked him months ago to stay away from the young lady but he found it nearly impossible, he only felt happy when he was near her. It occurred to him not for the first time that he was falling in love with Trisha Elric. He knew that really ought to stop before the two of them were hurt but he didn't quite have the strength to leave her and she wasn't letting him go anytime soon. Even now, her pleading words were wearing down his resolve which had weathered centuries. He sighed as he declared the fight lost._

"_Alright now, stand back," he said standing up and holding his arms above the grass more out of a desire to look impressive than any actual need. "Ready?" At her enthusiastic nodding, he activated his alchemy and from the grass created flowers by the hundreds from the ground. The joyful gasp he heard from behind him filled him with such joy as he's never known. Since the fall of Xerxes, Hohenheim had regarded his alchemy as a curse, a painful reminder of all that he had lost and had avoided using it unless absolutely necessary. But hearing the delight it brought to this girl, this wonderful woman whom he cared for so deeply, well it couldn't be all that bad. He was startled as he felt her warm arms wrap around him tightly, her feathery brown hair resting just below his chin. She looked up at him with bright sparkling eyes and a grin that could light up the whole East. _

"_Thank you Hohenheim, that was amazing, the most wonderful thing I've ever seen!" With that she stood on her toes and planted a kiss on his cheek and Hohenheim decided that he was through pretending. He was madly in love with Trisha Elric and he could never, ever have her. Not if he wanted her to have some semblance of a normal, happy life. With great reluctance, he pushed her away._

"_I-I'm sorry Trisha, I care for you, more than you'll ever know, but it won't work out. I have to go." With that he turned and staggered away all too aware of the silence behind him and the burning sadness in his heart. He had to leave Resembool and never come back, or at least come back in 5 or 10 years when Trisha had been taken by a man who deserved her love and not by a monster. _

_XxX_

_He was leaving, he had to. As he packed up his meager belongings from Pinako's house where he'd been staying, he watched a saddened expression appear on her aging face._

"_Hohenheim, I've known you a very long time but I've never seen you like this over a woman. Maybe I was wrong, I don't know your situation but why don't you stay? I dare say Trisha is just as in love as you are and she'll be devastated if you leave without any good reason. Hohenheim, just stop for a minute and listen to me." He picked up his battered suitcase and made for the door, pausing just before he turned the handle._

"_No, I can't, for her sake, I just can't. You've seen me over the years Pinako, I don't change. As much as I love her, I can't be the man she needs to make a life with. Please, I'm sorry for all this, she'll be fine and find some new man and be happy. I'll try and come back in a few years. Until the next time old friend." He said softly as he opened the door and left the comfortable place that was the closest thing he had to a home since Xerxes._

_The walk down the hill and to the station was long and painful, his feet dragging miserably on the ground scuffing up his shoes but it didn't matter. _It's for the best_, he told himself, _I'm doing this for her_. The sound of running feet behind him startled him from his depression and he turned to see the object of his affections racing towards him with a fire raging in her eyes. _

"_Hohenheim!" She shouted and he barely had time to brace herself as she grabbed at his coat, giving him such a look full of love and passion that he felt weak in the knees. "What are you doing you stupid man? You think you're allowed to leave just like that? Don't you know that I love you?" She shouted, grabbing him by his tie and pulling him down so they were eye to eye. _

"_Trisha, I-"_

"_No, I'm tired of your excuses. I know you love me too, I can see in everything you do so why are you running away? You said you've no family of your own right? So stay here and make one with me. We can be happy here, I promise, just don't leave me." She said, the anger leaking out of her eyes as she leaned her head against his chest. He gripped her tightly, curling her against him, breathing in the smell of her hair._

"_I'm immortal Trisha; I was born hundreds of years ago in the lost land of Xerxes. I was tricked by someone I thought was my friend into performing a transmutation that wiped out the whole country. As a result, I cannot die. I don't age, I can't be hurt, I just stay the same and I won't put you through that. I love you far too much to subject you to that." He said stroking her hair hoping she would understand. Instead he heard her huff and look up at him with stubborn eyes._

"_Is that supposed to scare me off? I don't care who or what you are, I love you, I love you because you're absolutely ridiculous and because you're so gentle and intelligent. I don't care for any of the boring, placid farmers here because I only want you. So marry me you immortal idiot and we'll live our life together for as long as we can. Because anything else would only make me unhappy."_

_He gaped at her open display of love and at the surge of warmth that burst in his heart. Trisha Elric, what did he ever do to deserve such an astounding woman? So kind and generous, funny and cute, mischievous and stubborn as a stone; and she loved him enough to forget his terrible body. A grin slowly crept onto his face as he picked up the most important woman in the world and spun her around delighting in her happy laugh._

"_You're not going to give up on me, are you, you senseless girl?" She grinned right back and shook her head._

"_Never, if you leave me now, I'll just have to wait for you to come back. I'd wait until I was old, wrinkly and gray and ask for your hand anyways." He leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on her lips, happiness shuddering through him to think that he could kiss those lips every day if he just stayed in place for a little bit. He caressed her hand. She would soon grow old and die and so too would any children they had together, but for now, she and him could have happiness and shouldn't he grasp it while it could instead of dreading the end result._

"_Then I guess I'll be sticking around for a while, but I'm going to need a house. Miss. Elric, would you like to join me?" Her smile became his light as she threaded her arms through his, cuddling up close to him and following him back down the hill to the future they were going to make together._

_XxX_

Hohenheim sighed mournfully, the full impact of Trisha's death affecting him greatly. Where was the light if not in the fire of her eyes? What was he going to do now? He needed to stop the Homunculus but he had planned on retiring with his family afterwards. What was there for him now?

"Hohenheim!" He turned at the shrill cry and was surprised to see a shock of golden hair and eyes that he never saw outside a mirror these days. But he ignored that for the wild passion burning in those eyes, which bore his color but had all of Trisha's spirit."

"Edward?" He asked, addressing his eldest son for the first time in over a decade.

"Van Hohenheim!" And despite the anger and hatred in Edward's eyes, Hohenheim felt relief because Trisha wasn't quite gone, not while their sons lived and breathed. He'd heard from Pinako that the boys had gotten mixed up in some pretty nasty things while he'd been away and now was his opportunity to fix it. Trisha may be gone but he had a new light, a new center in his life to guide him. Because if Trisha were here, she would want him to take care of their boys and he could never, ever refuse her.

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><p>Okay so Hohenheim is one of my favorite characters in FMA and I'm fond of Trisha too for how little we see of her. I wish there had been more of them together but that's the fun of fanfiction isn't it. I'm always surprised at the impression everyone has of Trisha as a calm, obedient woman. She'd strong, maybe not like Izumi or Olivier, but stubborn and relentless. Also she had to have chased down Hohenheim, he's the shy one in the relationship. If Trisha was as quiet as everyone believed her to be, Ed and Al wouldn't have been born. So I wanted to explore a younger more mischievous Trisha courting Hohenheim (because that's what it is, don't deny it) and I'm not entirely happy with it but it serves it's purpose well enough.<p> 


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